With the first week of college football betting season upon us, let me offer, in true Sunday morning infomercial tone, my sure-fire, stone-cold-lock four-team parlay of Republican winners in November. No doubt, some will say, “No news here - there’s virtually no difference between these races and the unopposed ones.” Maybe, but it’s a Week One warm up, and I want to pad by 2-1 record following the primaries. At any rate, here are the winners (assuming only that they don't set fire to a locked orphanage before November 8):
Jill Holtzman Vogel. A last minute rookie opponent surfaced who, though he started as an independent, somehow ended up getting the Democratic nomination. No worries, though. He has no money, no experience -- and no chance at taking the 27th district senate seat from Vogel
Suzanne Volpe. Denise "Taco Bell" Pierce with her “I’m not Suzanne Volpe” theme is just not going to be enough to beat the Volpe machine in her bid for Algonkian district supervisor.
Matt Letourneau. Matt’s experience and demeanor is a clear winner over Larry “Mr. Spirit Pot” Roeder in the Broad Run supervisor's race.
Scott York. As the Loudoun BOS chair, York has all the benefits of incumbency and the backing of his new BFFs in the LCRC (sans Suzanne Volpe). Moreover, his opponent, Tom "Pull My Finger" Bellanca, is viewed as just too kooky even by Democrats - and THAT is really saying something.
I toyed with calling the results in other races, but, again, this is a warm up week. Not to mention, the polls don’t close for another 1,598 hours.
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