Sunday, January 9, 2011

Times are Tough

Yeah, times are tough, I tell ya. They're sooo bad that

I got a pre-declined for a credit card in the mail

I bought a toaster and my free gift with purchase was a bank

If the bank returns your check marked "Insufficient Funds," you call them and ask if they meant you or them

Angelina Jolie adopted a child from America

Motel Six won't leave the light on anymore

The Treasure Island casino in Las Vegas is now managed by Somali pirates

Yeah, times are so bad that I called the Suicide Hotline, and got transferred to a call center in Pakistan. When I told them I was suicidal, they got all excited, and asked if I could drive a truck.

I'll be here all week.

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