Monday, May 16, 2011

Spring Cleaning List

Yesterday’s Washington Post Outlook section featured an article entitled, “Ten Things We Should Throw Out” which inspired me to come up with my own list of ten political things to clean up this spring. Some are big, some small. Some are old, some new. But, frankly, I have no use for any of them so I’ve moved them to my mental curb in the delusional hope that someone will haul them away.

10.  The Election of Treasurer and Commissioner of Revenue.  I very much like both of the incumbents, and I’m not saying get rid of their jobs, but I don’t think we need countywide elections for these posts.  Yes, I understand it’s a constitutional thing, but that doesn’t mean that I can’t put in on my chuck-it list.

9.  The Partisan Election of Sheriff.  I can’t see what difference a sheriff's political leanings would make in enforcement of the law, particularly to the point where I'd be moved to cast a vote based on party affiliation.

8. Any Method of Selecting a Party’s Nominee Other than a State-Run Primary.  Let’s just end the perennial uncertainty and agita over the method of selection and go with what’s best in virtually every circumstance and just deal with it from there.

7.  Ending the Pledge of Allegiance with the Phrase, “with liberty and justice for all born and unborn.”  Call me a purist, but I don’t like my pledge messed with, especially by these people.

6. Invocations for Party Meetings. They have become so rabid and rambling that it’s like a tent revival, implying that God not only favors Americans, but Republican Americans at that.

5. Measuring the Value of a School System by “Spending per Pupil.”  It’s like an arms race, with the bizarre effect of ranking inefficient schools systems higher than the efficient.

4. The Conservative Arms Race.  An oldie but a goodie.  If a person identifies himself as a Republican, he’s likely to vote with the party 90% of the time anyway so why quibble about his conservative bona fides in a primary?

3. The Compulsion to Find a Problem.  Politicians look for something to make themselves look relevant and important, and it often comes at the expense of debating quality legislation.  In the 2011 General Assembly session, for example, more than 2,300 bills were introduced. Goodness! How did we ever get through 2010 without them?

2. Blogging About Bloggers.  Personalities are simply playing too great a role in the local blogosphere. Yeah, I know all you other bloggers are sooo much smarter and you’ve got sooo much the inside scoop.  And the rest of us low lifes, especially at TC, are just evil malcontents intent on nothing but increasing blog traffic through rank speculation. Happy? Good. Now, shut up and try to write something relevant.

1. Sarah Palin’s Microphone.

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